Roger's Rating:

It's time to take another look at a Justin Slayer flick. One of his earlier titles featured horse-hung Boz. Taking the “big” theme a little further Slayer has enlisted the help of Mandingo this time around. This is about as big as anyone can take it because Dingo is probably the biggest dude in all of porn. (Hard to imagine anyone bigger out of porn for that matter.) Changing male talent from Slayer to Dingo may increase the size of the dick in the picture, but it may not address the biggest problem with his work of late. It won't help with the horrific camera that has turned Slayer's movies into some of the most unwatchable porn on the market. I don't know what he is trying to do, but terrible lighting is not a good place to start. That would be bad enough, but he seems to have fallen into a trap with his camerawork/editing. There are a few shooters in the industry who are so good at pacing a scene and shooting sex that they are able to move from shot to shot without cutting. When this is done right by say, Jules Jordan or John Stagliano then it takes away the need for a hundred cuts during a scene. Camerawork like this is fantastic and worth of praise. The problem comes when someone who isn't as good as the top level guys tries to copy this style. Instead of being smooth and hot, it ends up looking like you strapped a camera to the chest of a nine year old with ADD and sent him running through Toy R Us on a three day sugar bender. Any time (And not just in Slayer movies by the way, lots of people do this) you're looking at porn and find yourself muttering “oh yeah, that's a great shot…doh, why did you move from that?” it's a very, very bad thing. Why am I spending so much time on this? Because I broke tradition and wrote the open for this review after watching the movie. What follows is a rather frustrated look at a movie through the eyes of an amped out Chihuahua who may well have just eaten the entire contents of Paris Hilton's “party kit.” There you go folks, you have been warned.

Kelly Wells & Dingo

Slayer leads Kelly into the house so that she can get down to business with the Dingo dick. They don't waste any time before getting that thing into her pussy. As usual, Slayer can't keep still with the camera for more than about four seconds. (I'm going to use a stopwatch on his stuff one day.) There is some decent footage to be had here, but with a camera that never stops, it's hard to really see any of it. Couple that with an overly exposed background and you have a wasted coupling. Dingo fucks her in the ass and shoots a load on her face. The whole thing is over in less than ten minutes and it it's technically a mess.

Lana & Dingo

Lana is a nice looking redhead who is getting some sun by the pool. The tease could be good if someone would just teach him how to shoot. I can't believe that he can be surrounded by so much talent and not realize that this much camera movement is never a good idea. Lana seems impressed by the big dick and does her best to suck it. There are moments during the fucking when I'm just about ready to say how great it looks, but those moments are always ruined. It's another quick fuck with a decent facial, but it is still a far cry from what we expect from Evil Angel.

Missy Monroe & Dingo

Missy is very excited about working with a big dick and it shows. She's a cute girl with a personality that wins me over ever time. It would be really nice to see her body as she struts around, but you can imagine the problem at play again. Size queen Missy sucks his dick with great enthusiasm and far too soon we move on to the fucking. Missy screams as she gets drilled and gives what should be a very hot scene. The energy and chemistry are great, but the washed out picture and jerking camera work turn this into another forgettable romp between two performers who usually work well together.

Katie & Dingo

What happens when you combine the technical failures of this movie with an average looking girl? I guess it is less difficult to watch because I don't feel like we have lost as much with this one. To Katie's credit she tries really hard to take that big dick into her mouth. It really wouldn't matter how hot she is. It is still a poorly lit scene that looks like it shot by a 12 year old on a two day caffeine bender. Has anyone ever sat down with Slayer and his finished product to say “That shot right there is great. Why did you move from it after less than two seconds? Where are you going in such a hurry?”

Kami & Dingo

This is really going to disappoint a lot of people. Kami works really well with big guys and has the physical attributes that Slayer fans love. So this scene is going to be ruined by the camerawork and it will actually be a loss. She gets down to suck his cock and can't fit it all the way town her throat. (Who can?) I know that some of you are going to think that I'm picking on the camera work, but take a look at it here. It's like that stupid fucking thing they used to do on the Wayne's World skits. It moves in and out on her face faster than the can bob on the big dick. Why is his stuff not getting any better? Is anyone paying attention? If we are looking for a saving grace here it the way Kami works with Mandingo. She gives us some great butt shots, but you better freeze frame the shot if you're looking for stroke material. This is s a huge waste of talent and robs fans of a great pairing.

There is a bonus scene in the extras, but it is more of the same with Lucy Love taking on the big dick in another nearly unwatchable scene.

As have probably guessed, the biggest problem with his movie is the way it's shot. The lighting is pretty bad and that is disappointing enough. It's one thing for a director to go for “a look” in a movie, but come on. This isn't supposed to high art. It's porn and should be stroke material. Lighting like this is enough to make you blind. Someone should remind Slayer that we don't all walk around in those “too cool for school” shades that he refuses to take off. Beyond the bad lighting we have to suffer through some of the worst camera work in the industry right now. If you happen to catch a glimpse of something good, you might want to freeze it. If you don't it will be gone before you can blink. I used to hate the quick-cut stuff that some directors would do during scenes. It gave me a headache, but now I long for those days. This movie is more likely to give us all motion sickness than erections. With such huge technical problems ruining the movie, what else is there? The cast is mostly average with a few exceptions. Their energy isn't too bad at times, but it is really hard to enjoy anything that they might bring to the table. The best thing I can say about the sex is that the technical issues are so bad that they overshadow another lackluster performance. Does any performer get less out of women these days than Slayer? That's a good question. Luckily for him, the camerawork is so hideous that we won't know. The first “When Big Just Ain't Enough” movie was pretty good, but don't waste your time with this one.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM