Roger's Rating:

It's never easy for a director to take over a line that has turned as many heads as the cellar movies have. When Rob Black hit us with Cellar Dwellers a few years back, few people knew what to make of the effort. It pushed the envelope in a number of ways, breaking taboos, testing limits and to some extent, proving that even 'freak show' porn can have just enough hard core sex to please just about everyone. (Artsy, couples porn fans were out of luck, but who cares? They liked 'Zazel' for fuck's sake.) Rising star director Robert Madison takes over the reins for the third Cellar Dweller and from the looks of things, he's added his own freaky elements to the mix. He's also got a nice looking cast, including Elegant Angel's tall, totally hot contract girl Tiffany Mason, so that's a good start.

The movie begins quite literally, back at the beginning, with a bunch of cavemen negotiating for a blowjob. Sending him out into the fields, the first two cavemen make a tidy profit and the third guy gets a knob job from Zarina. Cute set up aside, this chick just isn't very good looking. I'll give her an A for effort as she sucks hard and holds her face at the head of his dick. Still, if I'm going to go back six hundred million years to see a chick suck dick, I'd at least like her to be passable looking.

Venus works in a sex toy shop for a bitchy boss, Daisy Chain. She likes to daydream a lot and really wants to know what's behind the mysterious door. When she drifts off again, Venus ends up dancing naked in a field having a conversation with a booming voice that tells her that ?Dreams are more powerful than reality.? In her case, dreams are just fucking strange. We get a couple of singing rabbits who give up their musical career in search of greener pastures. What are they looking to do? We'll have to find out later, because it's back to reality.

When customers come into Daisy's shop, they can pay a premium to go through the door. On the other side, their fantasies come true. Heather Lyn goes through looking for a little attention. With some help from bartender David Luger, she finds herself in an interesting position. He slips her a little powder and Heather wakes up with something on her mouth that looks straight out of Clockwork Orange. It holds her mouth open while a masked man fucks her face. It doesn't seem to bother Heather at all, because she eventually shoves the guy down, pulls his mask off (It's Erik Everhard) and spins around for some energetic 69. Heather is not your typical drugged out date rape chick, fucking Erik on the pool table before deciding to play hard to get. I hope hard sex is what she paid for, because when he catches up to her at the bar, Erik takes her from behind like she beat his dog or something. Moving into the kitchen, Heather finds out what it's like to be a stuffed chick. After fucking her in the ass, Erik leaves a nice load right in her open mouth.

Daisy is getting meaner as time goes on, yelling at Venus and smacking her across the face. Hostile work environment aside, she still has her dreams. This time, Venus is visited by a Lizard Man. He tells her to keep dreaming. Of course, when the two bunnies come walking through the front door of the sex shop, it gets a little tough to tell what's dream and what's reality. Daisy leads them into the sex dungeon, leaving Venus alone with her dreams. No Lizard Man in this one, just Tiff, her active fingers and a horny little pussy. She ends up using a variety of toys during a very well shot, outdoor masturbation scene that has me anxious to see this hot babe take her turn with a real cock.

Daisy is having a good time with the rabbits who thrill her with their idea for a new game show, ?Who Wants to Fuck a Million Hares?? This leads us to a wild and wacky send up as the two bunnies bring out three contestants, Daisy, Lee and Kelsey. The first thing the girls have to do is suck carrot. No, that's not a euphemism, they actually perform fellatio on vegetables. After testing them for both depth and width, the rabbits bring in a stripper guy, (Joey Ray) for the girls to play with. Kelsey is brunette in this movie and looks a little better than I've ever seen her. Still, even with way too many tats, Daisy looks the best in this three on one. Joey sort of moves around the women, letting Lee suck his cock for a while as the other girls use strap ons to enhance the fun. That makes it easy for everyone to fuck in as many positions as they dream up. Daisy does a little bit of toe sucking during the scene as well, making this as good for foot lovers as for dildo assisted veggie lovers. Kelsey ends up DP's by Joey and Lee, but they all sit around as he jerks his load onto himself.

Tiffany Mason comes in looking for a real man. Apparently, this means taking us back to the days of silent films. An evil man has Tiffany tied up and doing lewd things in front of her. Fear not, in rides Nacho Vidal to rescue the tall, thin brunette. As thanks for his heroic efforts, Tiffany opens her legs and lets him taste what she's got. As thin as Tiffany is, Nacho's cock looks as big as her calf, but that doesn't stop her from getting on her knees and taking that thing into her mouth. The camerawork is a bit jerky as they settle in for a hot boff on the rooftops. Once things settle down, she straddles his cock and rides him hard. Nacho is a strong guy and manages to lift the tall girl off her feet before rolling her over to fuck the living shit out of her. Tiffany is plenty good looking, though a bit too thin for me and is fairly enthusiastic about her work. Nacho does most of the work though, really putting her through her paces. If you like your sex hard, then you're going to blow a big wad just like Nacho does. Of course, you don't get to shoot your stream into Tiff's face like he does.

Our rabbit friends are on the streets when they run into Scottie Scwartz. After a quick pitch on the sidewalk, he invites them into his limo to hear all about their game show. Meanwhile, Voodoo is pouring his heart out to Daisy. His guilt is too much for him lately, so she takes him back for a trip through the magic door. On the other side, he finds himself trapped with Lexington Steele. Just about the time you wonder if he is about have a super nightmare of a time, Brittany Andrews arrives. She is a zombie cheerleader who they apparently killed. Brit wants revenge and the only way to get it, is to get the spirit of the guys who killed her. To get their spirit she has to fuck them. (Talk about a case of good news/bad news.) She strips and starts sucking cock before you can say ?Gimme an A.? Lex is a big guy as we know, but Brit does a pretty damn good job taking it wile Voodoo licks her from behind. When they switch, it looks like her pussy won't be able to handle all that Lex has, but we get a close up shot of her pussy swallowing every last inch. I haven't really been a big Brittany Andrews fan in the past, but the way she backs her ass up to fuck Lex is quite fetching to say the least. Even better shots come later when she's on her back. That shaved pookie is totally filled and still the zombie cheerleader is able to suck cock like a champ. This is easily the hottest scene I have ever seen this woman do. It takes two guys slam fucking her to make her happy. Lex pulls out and shoots right up her body while Voodoo adds his goo to her tit. It's weird shit, but damn it's hot.

Venus finally manages to slip through the door and gets to explore her wild side. As soon as she finds April making breakfast, the lesbian kitchen sex scene is on. April is a really cute chick and Venus is fine looking herself so they make a pretty pair. At first, April is the dominant one, but once Tiff starts working her pussy with a dildo, you can see that things are really quite equal between these two natural hotties. Most of the action features toys, so if you like watching chicks fuck each other with fake dicks, then you'll dig this one.

On the other side, Venus is now free. She has discovered her bi-sexuality and confronts her boss. It looks like she has finally broken free and become a completely knew person. (Wow, lick a little pussy and the whole world changes.) What is interesting to note about this third CD movie is the lack of mean spirited, violent or over the top sexual imagery. Rob Black's cellar brought us all sorts of sexual perversions, some hot, some just downright sick. (Something Rob Black is good at.) There are no nuns turning into prostitutes, no wives thrown into the electric chair and no rape scenes. Instead we get pimping cavemen, giant bunny game show hosts and zombie cheerleaders. OK, so this is a kinder, gentler Cellar, but is the sex any good? The Brittany Andrews scene is the best I have seen her do and it's quite good. Tiffany Mason could use a few Twinkies now and then, but she can handle a big dick. This movie could have used a couple more scenes with this kind of heat, but it's still a cut above. I think Robert Madison may be on to something with this movie and I'd like to see what else he can do with bizarre fantasy fare.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM